Damn

I don’t really know where to start because I don’t know where I am.  Actually, I don’t know where he/she is either.  He/she has admitted to memory issues.  When I read about the signs of Alzheimer’s disease, his/her admitted problems fall right in line with the signs and symptoms.  What he/she won’t do is proceed with any medical diagnosis of his/her problem.  Not that I blame him/her.  Who would want to admit to yourself or to anyone else that you have a disease that is going to rob you of your memory and personality, then your physical abilities, and eventually kill you?
At this point I am writing as a release.  I can’t push him/her to do anything he/she doesn’t want to do.  It wouldn’t be right.  Neither can I stand by and watch him/her create problems for himself/herself.  I will wait.  And during this waiting, I will probably act in such a way that will be perceived as nagging or controlling.  What I want to do is protect him/her and support him/her.  I must walk a fine line, even though I know I will cross it time and again.
Perhaps writing will relieve some of the stress for me.  I can think of nothing that will relieve the stress for him/her.  Except for his/her being aware that I do love and support him/her…always have and always will.

 

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